Sora's Grand Adventure
by InjuredPelican
Summary: Sora, Kairi, Goofy, Donald, and Trunks all set out on an incredibly stupid journey filled with slapstick, romance, action, suspense,and slapstick.
1. The Saga Begins

Sora's Grand Adventure Part 1

Warning: This fic is completely retarded.  
I don't own any of these characters.

* * *

Sora happily skipped into Riku's house. "Hey what cha' eatin'?" Sora asked. Riku replied proudly:

"Death puffs! It magicaly turns the milk a blackish-purple color!" Riku smiled.

"Ew! You're gross!" Sora replied disgustidly.

"Nuh-uh! You are, stupid!" Riku insulted back.

"Nerfherder!"

"Jelly-belly!"

"All right! That's it!" Sora fumed. "You wanna go at it, boy?"

"Heck yeah, you pansy!" Riku threw his cereal bowl with all his might towards Sora's head. The ceramic bowl shattered and sprayed milk, broken pieces, a spoon, and death puffs.

"Owchie!" Sora cringed as he cradled his damaged head. "You retard! I'll break your kneecaps!" Spellbinder materialized into his hand and Sora promptly brought it down hard on Riku's knees.

"Roar! Ow! Kairi! Sora's killing me!" Riku cried out in hope, as he fell to his knees. Kairi jumped in through the open window.

"Goody! I hope you fall in a woodchipper," Kairi said coldly.

"How can you say that? What about our love?" Riku asked desperatly. Kairi make a face like she was going to be sick.

"Love? I don't love you. I don't even like you! In fact, I hate your sorry butt! I love Sora," Kairi grabbed Sora and began making out with him for a whole minute.

"No! I have been shamed," Riku cried in agony. Kairi finally releases Sora from her grasp.

"Now that was a good round of face sucking!" Sora said. Riku boiled with rage.

"You scumbag! Curse your big shoes!" Riku spit on that last line.

"Hey, Sora?" Kairi began, in a flirtasious manner. "How 'bout we just take the raft and leave together."

"Yeah, okay! Bye Riku, you're gonna be bug squash!" Sora and Kairi quickly ran off towards the raft on the beach. Riku stared after them, fighting back tears of rage. His lips quivvered with fury.

"I swear by my chinny, chin, chin! You, Sora, shall die! Muahahaha!" Riku laughed meniacly like the deranged maniac that he was.

* * *

(Sora, Kairi, Goofy, Donald, and Future Trunks all brave the sea on their trusty raft.)

Goofy sat in a zombie like state chanting. "Muddle! Muddle! Muddle!" He exclaimed.

"Meddling!" Donald yelled in correction.

"I don't care what its called!" Sora yelled angrily. "Its freaking annoying!"

"Meddling!" Donald screamed back.

"Shut up!" Trunks back handed the screaming duck and the punched Goofy in the back of the head. Kairi jumped up and down in glee.

"Hey, look! I caught a fish!" Kairi proudly held up a heartless jellyfish in her net.

"Yummy!" Goofy shot out his tongue Jar-jar style and consumed the jellyfish, along with the net and almost Kairi's hand.

"You freakin' retard!" Kairi pounded Goofy in the head with a rock, knocking him over.

"Thanks a lot Goofy!" Sora said angrily. "You ate our only catch of the day and you almost ate Kairi's hand! I should have your big toe for this!"

"I already ate them," Goofy said as he bares his toeless feet. All of them, except for Donald, jumped back from the sight. Trunks threw up into the water.

"That's just not normal!" Sora said holding his stomache.

"Where'd you meet this freak anyways?" Kairi asked, her eyes still wide with fear.

"He can't tell ya!" Goofy started. "Except that it had to do with a keyhole, that there door to the light, and muddling!" SMACK! Sora knocked Goofy out cold with a blow to the head.

"What a moron," Sora said.

"Oh, thank God!" Kairi grabbed Sora and started making out with him again. Trunks threw up again.

* * *

(At Sephiroth's Mansion.)

Sephiroth sat in his comfortable armchair as he listened to his son bawling. "They threw rocks at me, and poked my eye, and..."

"There, there, my son," Sephiroth said as he embraced his son," calm yourself. Your pain will be avenged." Riku looked up with a sniffle.

"How are you going to do that?" Riku asked.

"The only way I know how. I will extract their brain juice."

"Thanks, Daddy," Riku quickly runs into the hallway, out of sight. "Muahahaha! Father will surely destroy Sora!" Sephiroth quickly wrote a letter for Sora, consisting of a death threat and a fancy signature. He folded it up in an envelope and tied it to his carrier pigeon.

"Now he will know his days are numbered," Sephiroth said sadisticaly.

* * *

(On some random Island.)

Cloud was sitting on a rock, while looking down at the sea below. Cloud was about doze off, when all of a sudden that really annoying twerp, Yuffie ran up yelling. "Hey, Cloud! Think fast!" Yuffie flung a ninja star straight for Cloud, but Cloud quicly parried it into the air.

"Darnit! What the heck we're you thinking?" Cloud demanded.

"Not much!" Yuffie said proudly. Just then a pigeon with a ninja star in it plopped to the ground. Cloud quickly examined the lifeless bird.

"There's a note here," Cloud said as he removed the envelope. Cloud read the document silently.

"What's it say!" Yuffei asked anxiously.

"Oh no! Its a letter from Sephiroth, and he's gonna kill Sora!" Cloud grabbed his sword and prepared to fly. "I gotta stop him!" He than took off into the air.

"Me and Squally will come too!" Yuffei exclaimed. Squall sprung up from where he was napping and grabbed his Gunblade.

"Come on! I must prove myself as the greatest hero! Better than Cloud even!" Squall proclaimed as he salivated at the thought of him outdoing Cloud. He quickly grabbed Yuffie's waist and surfed after Cloud on his Gunblade.

* * *

To Be Continued...

Please Review! Even flame me if you want, at least for a good reason anyways!Please Review!


	2. Island Paradise?

Sora's Grand Adventure Part 2

If you've read Chapter 1 you know this fic is stupid already.  
I don't own any of these characters.

* * *

(On the raft.)

Goofy sat eating a disgusting looking macaroni and cheese burrito, chewing as noisily as possible. "This burrito is tasty but filling," Goofy stated. He then threw the sickening food item behind him, slamming right in Trunks' face.

"Ew! Nasty!" Trunks screamed like a sissy as flailed his arms about. Donald turned around and quickly slurped the burrito right off Trunks' face, leaving cheese, noodles, and slobber on the the poor half Saiyan.

"Tastes like boogers! Yummy!" Donald squealed with delight. Both Sora and Kairi finally turned around due to the comotion and cringed at Trunks' state.

"You guys are so freakin' disgusting!" Sora said displeased. Kairi turned her attention back to the front and saw something exciting.

"Guys! Its an island!" Kairi said cheerfully as the raft crashed against the island coast.

"Yeah! Land!" Goofy jumped from the raft and scooped up a ton of sand into his mouth. Just then a really dumb gorrilla (like those at Deep Jungle.) ran out onto the beach, craps a gummi block, and then runs back into the trees. "Gummies!" Goofy grabbed the block and shoved it down his throat.

"Don't you ever get full?" Sora asked. Goofy starts choking on the gummie.

"Why does it hurts us?" Goofy wheezed.

"Why don't you guys go search the island for som shelter," Kairi suggested to Goofy and Donald.

"Come on Goofy, we gotta find that 'key'," Donald lead Goofy into the dark and dangerous looking jungle. Trunks watched them leave and made sur they were gone. He then threw a capsule onto the ground. The capsule popped open and a large cabin landed on the beach.

"We can stay in here while those idiots get lost," Trunks said excitedly. Sora and Kairi looked on with bright eyes.

"Sweet," Sora said. Then the three all ran in.

* * *

(In the jungle.)

Goofy and Donald trudged through the swampy foliage while Goofy hummed a disney tune. As they were walking Goofy noticed some movement. "Hey, Donald, there's more gorrillas," the retard said as he pointed at Kerchak and five more rather sinsiter looking gorrillas. Just then Clayton stepped out with his shotgun in his hands.

"Go-rill-as!" Clayton pulled the trigger and blasted off Goofy's right leg.

"Gaursh!" Goofy cried out as he hit the ground.

"No!" Donald launched himself towards Clayton, only to be relieved of his face. Donald fell, lifeless, to the floor. Tarzan all of a sudden jumps to the ground.

"Clayton! Why are you shooting people?" Tarzan demanded.

"There was a snake, and I had to protect it," Clayton answered. Tarzan stared in disbelief.

"You're supposed to protect people from snakes, not the other way around!" Tarzan protested.

"Not if you're a crazy animal activist like me!" Clayton blew Tarzan's arm off. Tarzan fell back in pain.

"Ooh-ooh-ah-ooh..." Tarzan breathed his last as he bleed to death.

"Now my Gorrillas! Fly! Fly my pretties! Fly!" Clayton yelled, rallying the primeates. "Hahahaha!" All the gorrillas flew into the sky in search of prey.

* * *

(At the Cabin.)

All three of our heroes lounge in a hot tub, sip martinis and smoking Cuban cigars.

"Ah, this is the life," Sora sighed in content.

"Thank goodness we got rid of Goofy and Donald," Kairi added. Trunks stands up quickly and hops out of the hot tub.

"I sense a strange energy coming this way, guys," Trunks said. All of them run out in their bathing suits; Trunks in swimming trunks(?), Sora in a speedo, and Kairi in a tiny string bikini. Up in the air gorrillas were approaching at high speeds.

"Die, humans!" Kerchak yelled as he unleashed a destructo disc. Trunks rose into the air and smacked the attack away.

"I'm no human! I'm a Super Saiyan!" Trunks hair flashes gold and he slices Kerchak up with his sword.

"I'm a Super Saiyan, too!" Sora claimed. "Oh, wait, no I'm not. But I do have two key blades!" He whips out Oblivion and Metal Chocobo and kills two gorrillas.

"I know Karate!" Kairi karate chops a gorrillas head clean off. Trunks then blew the rest into dust with his ki.

"Allright! Now we can drink the rest of our martinis!" Trunks exclaimed.

"And I can stare at Kairi in her bathing suit!" Sora added.

"And I can kill you all!" Sephiroth exclaimed as he stood, sword drawn.

* * *

To Be Continued...

Please Review! Say what you want!


	3. Run away

Sora's Grand Adventure Part 3 I don't own any of these characters. 

(On the mysterious island.)

Sora looked over to Kairi who was also baffled. "What's Riku's dad doing here?" Sora asked.

"Who knows, who cares?" Kairi answered in a bored tone. Sephiroth stood up straight in surprise.

"I'm here to kill you!" Sephiroth said assumedly. "Didn't you get my letter?"

"No! I did!" Cloud appeared from the sky and made a heroic pose. "And now I'm here to stop you!"

"Us too!" Yuffie chirped as her and Squall also landed. Sephiroth smerked and went into his fighting stance.

"Fools! Fear my power!" Sephiroth launched a bright blue meteor from the sky into Yuffie, causing her to explode in an instant. Squall stared horrified at Sephiroth.

"You jerk!" Squall yelled. "You killed my Yuffie!" Squall almost burst into tears.

"You think?" Sephiroth remarked sarcastically. Squall's rage exploded.

"Its over!" Squall ran forward with sword swinging about.

"For you!" Sephiroth cleaved Squall's head off, sending it flying into the distance (Is this PG material?). "Now, Cloud, how do you plan to stop me without your little buddies?" Sephiroth taunted.

"Buddies? Pheh!" Cloud scoffed at the thought of him being friends with those idiots. "I don't need those losers to whoop your butt!" Cloud leaped towards Sephiroth and swung with all his might, knocking Sephiroth onto his butt. "Run Sora!"

"Don't run! I need to kill you!" Sephiroth tried to pursuade Sora.

"See ya!" Sora scooped up Kairi and quickly ran towards the raft with Trunks. As they boarded the wooden sea faring vehicle (descriptive, huh?) Goofy burst forth from the trees, runnig like the Spinosaurus from Jurassic Park 3, and tried to catch up to his "friends".

"Wait, Sora! Don't leave me!" Goofy cried out as he waded into the shallow water. Sora skillfully pushed their raft out to the deeper water to avoid Goofy.

"Sorry, Goofy, but you're just too retarded. I can't pretend to be your friend anymore. Bye," Sora waved while Goofy was dragged underwater by man eating octopusses. Kairi watched the event while laughing her head off, till she nearly passed out from not breathing. Trunks promptly heaved into the water.

"Do you have stomache problems?" Sora asked worriedly. Trunks looked up from his postion to answer.

"No, this trip is just kind of yucky," Trunks replied.

"Hey, Sora, we're on our way to the next island, and its a really big one," Kairi pointed excitedly. "Lets make out befor we get there."

"Okay!" Both started kissing each other passionatly, this lasted for a few hours.

(Back on the Mysterious Island.)

Cloud and Sephiroth continued to wail on eachother, with Cloud having the obvious advantage. "You can stop beating me now, you little twerp!" Sephiroth complained.

"Yeah right, you wuss!" Cloud takes another huge swing at Sephiroth, but the evil dude stepped back quickly to avoid the blow.

"Riku! Attack!" Sephiroth commanded. Riku magically appeared and landed on Cloud's shoulders. He wrapped his arms around his neck and started biting his ears.

"OW! My lobes!" Cloud struggles with the terrible teenager while Sephiroth tries to escape. "Get off me, you little bugger!" Cloud elbowed Riku in the nose and quickly spun to punt the suspended Riku into space.

"Team rocket's blasting off again!" Riku yells as he soars into the stratosphere. Cloud started running after Sephiroth and quickly catches up to him. As they're running they nearly collide with a strange individual in a brown robe. The man suddenly turned around and yelled.

"Submit!" Ansem teleported the two swordsmen and himself to a dark empty space. There is nothing but a TV and VCR.

"Where are we?" Cloud asked.

"Look into the TV screen. There is not even a shimmer of light. All is darkness and evil," Ansem said almost happily. Ansem's prisoners stared in gruesome terror as the Teletubbies appeared on the screen.

"Eh, oh! Tinky winky, Dipsie, Lala, Po!" The TV speakers blared.

"OH MY FREAKIN' GOSH! ITS EVIL!" Sephiroth screamed in horror.

" PLEASE JUST SEND ME TO HELL! (PG?) Cloud fell to his knees in despair. Ansme only began to laugh maniacly.

"Muahahaha! Teletubbies for ever!" The madman laughed to himself while Cloud and Sephiroth began weeping.

(Out at sea.)

Kairi sat on Sora's chest while he slept and was playing a game of chess with Trunks, while mysteriously, Obi-Wan Kenobi sat meditating on the force. "I feel as though two voices screamed out, and then were silenced," Obi-Wan said.

"That smells stink-a-wiff!" Sora woke up to say, and then fell back asleep.

"That's so sexy," Kairi said. Trunks, of course, threw up.

To Be Continued...

Please Review!


	4. City life

Sora's Grand Adventure Part 4

I don't own any of these characters.

Thank you all for your support! If you can, get other people to read and review! Thanks!

* * *

(In Ansem's torture room.)

Cloud and Sephiroth sat, duct taped to very uncomfortable wooden folding chairs filled with splinters, watching hour after hour of Teletubbies. Both their eyes were drained of the color of life and replaced with glazed stares. Sephiroth's face was covered in tears and unshaven facial hair. Cloud's head was covered with scratches and bruises from trying to knock himself out with his knees. Sadly, his attempts were futile, and then repayed by Ansem tying rope around his legs so tight, the blood had been cut off from them. Yeah, the torture was not nessecarily PG rated. Just then, the dark door that Ansem used to visit his prisoners flung open and revealed Cloud and Sephiroth's now most hated person. Ansem strolled in happily with a big grin on his face and a video tape in his hand.

"Guess what?" Ansem teased. Both responded with a grunt. "I got a new video tape for us to watch, and its tons better than Teletubbies!" Ansem revealed proudly. The swordsmens' eyes lit up with hope.

"R-really?" Cloud pleaded for an answer.

"I wouldn't lie would I?" Ansem asked him. Cloud answered with a sad face and silence. "Of course I would! You idiot!" Ansem backhanded Cloud, knocking over the chair and causing it to move enough that Cloud got multiple splinters in his butt.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Cloud cried, not only from pain but also his horrible predicament. Ansem grabbed the chair and slammed it back on to its legs.

"Now, shut up!" Ansem demanded. He popped out the Teletubbies tape and threw it at Sephiroth's face, causing a cry in pain as the cheap plastic tape broke, sending shards of plastic into his body. Ansem then slid the mysterious tape in and merrily tipped toed out of the way. "Now its time for the Super Friends!" Ansem laughed out as he pressed play. "And its all about Aquaman and the Wonder Twins! Hours and hours of exploring empty oceans and horrible comic relief!"

"WHY? WHY MUST I ENDURE THIS!" Cloud screamed out as he watched the TV screen follow Aquaman's rear as he continually launched his fish communicating waves. Sephiroth started having convulsions from the visual torture. Ansem skipped to the door and left.

"Have fun you guys!" Ansem called back to them as he returned to where ever he goes.

* * *

(Out at sea.)

Our heroes, now numbering four, lay asleep as their raft came closer to the large island Kairi had pointed out earlier. Rather roughly, the raft hit the coast and stopped on some rocks. All four stirred from their slumber, began waking up and moving about. "Let's get some supplies and go soon," Trunks suggested.

"I sense many life forms here," Obi-Wan said.

"Good observation, idiot," Sora said sarcasticly as they all looked at a busy city before them.

"I hope there are stores here! I want to go to a mall!" Kairi exclaimed.

"Maybe we can find some food too," Trunks added. By now all of them had mde themselves properly ready and started towards the thriving city. As they entered they could see huge sky scrapers, vendors, and tons of people of all kinds. They advanced with a little trouble due to the crowds, but finally came upon a nice looking diner.

"Let's go in there," Kairi suggested. When they walked in they found it to be semi-crowded and stood waiting for a server. A trim young lady briskly walked up to the four with menus.

"You're kind of cute," she said to Sora," what's your name?" Sora was about to answer when Kairi grabbed him possesivly.

"He's mine!" Kairi said with teeth bared. The waitress stepped back out of fright.

"Sorry, I ment no trouble," she hastily apologized. Both females straightened up. "How many?"

"Four, please," Sora replied.

"He's part of your group?" She asked pointing at the destracted Jedi.

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Sora asked.

"Why, yes it is, actually. We don't serve Jedi here. Too many accidents involving lightsabers."

"Sorry, Obi-Wan, can you wait outside or something?" Sora asked.

"That's fine," Obi-Wan answered. "Because I'm looking for the bounty hunter Jango Fett." With that Obi-Wan ran out of the resturaunt and into the busy street. From behind closed doors they could here a lightsaber and a few screams.

"See what I mean?" the waitress asked. They all then enjoyed a fine lunch. After their meal, Sora and Kairi went to the mall, while Trunks went to go find Obi-Wan.

"See ya at nine, okay?" Sora yelled to Trunks.

"See ya then!" Trunks then flew off into the air in search of their missing Jedi friend. Sora and Kairi sarted walking towards the humongous mall in the center of the city.

"Now we can have some fun together, just you and me," Kairi ended the sentence rather seductively.

"Hey, you are so right! We can ride the roller coaster, beat up mascots, and watch a baseball game! And..."

"No, Sora! That's not what I meant!" Kairi said, annoyed at Sora's naivety.

"What the heck else could you mean?" Sora asked confused.

"Sora? Isn't it obvious? I meant..." BOOM! A huge explosive sound was heard and accompioned by a large burst of fire and smoke.

"What the shell!" Sora exclaimed as the smoke faded. Jango Fett's ship, the Slave I, rose from a now destroyed underground facility. The Slave I began firing missles straight towards Sora and Kairi. Kairi screamed in fear, but Sora aero magic to deflect the projectiles into the air. Slave I began preparing to leave, but just then Obi-Wan jumped a high building and landed on the ship. He quickly whipped out his saber and sliced the cockpit, causing the ship to fall to the ground and explode. Obi-Wan barely jumped off in time and landed near Sora and Kairi. Kairi turned from the firey destruction and tackled Sora to the ground in embracement.

"Oh, Sora, you saved me," Kairi said as she started kissing him all over.

"Yeah I guess I did," Sora said proudly. "Hey look." They both looked up and saw Trunks landing.

"I finally found you," Trunks said to Obi-Wan. He then turned to Sora and Kairi, who were both barely holding themselves back. "You guys need a hotel room?" Both turned and nodded.

* * *

(At the hotel.)

Trunks and Obi-Wan got a room, and Sora and Kairi got a room together. Sora and Kairi went to their room and 'got settled' early. Trunks and Obi-Wan entered a small room with no air system. "What the heck is this rip off!" Trunks grumbled. While Trunks used the bathroom Obi-Wan got settled and layed down with a good book.

"Hey, Trunks? I noticed you didn't puke this chapter. Why is that?" Obi-Wan asked as Trunks entered. When Trunks came into the main area his eyes widened. Obi-Wan had hung his dirty underwear on a clothes line, and it was womens underwear. Trunks then threw up. He quickly ran out of the hotel and flew into the air in hopes for a better sleeping quarters.

* * *

To Be Continued...

Please Review!


	5. Brainwashed enemies! Oh boy!

Sora's Grand Adventure Part 5 I don't own any of these characters or major food chains. 

Thank you again for reviews! Thanks a lot! I will probably keep typing as long as you keep giving me support! Thank you!

* * *

(Outside the hotel.)

Sora, Kairi, and Obi-Wan walked out of the hotel after a free breakfast and met Trunks. They all decided they'd stay on the island a little while longer and so prepared for some more wandering around. They went to the mall to restock on much needed supplies and new clothes (they still had their bathing suits on!). While Kairi browsed through the girl's clothes Trunks confronted Sora. "So what happened last night?" Trunks asked.

"Not much," Sora answered non-chalante. Trunks raised an eye brow.

"You're kidding me, right? I mean, you guys looked like you were going to go at it outside yesterday," Trunks said confused.

"I know, but we just watched some TV and went to sleep," Sora answered. Trunks looked doubtful.

"Come on, you can tell me," Trunks tried to persuade.

"Okay, I'll tell ya the truth," Sora began whispering. "You see Kairi has this danged chastity belt, meaning I have to marry her before we can get busy. And that means we have to get married as soon as possible!"

"So why are we still on this island?" Trunks asked.

"So we can find a church and get hitched! Then she'll be all mine!" Sora licked his lips. Trunks stepped back a little. "Oops, did I say that out loud?" Sora put his hands behind him and acted like nothing happened. Finally they all bought some Hawaiian style clothes and headed off in a wagon pulled by a sweet mo-ped. Trunks drove the mo-ped while the other three sat in the wagon, bouncing as they traveled a bumpy dirt road. Obi-Wan raised his head and turned towards the front.

"I sense a disturbance in the force," the Jedi warned.

"Stop spoutin' you're mojo garbage!" Sora said while sitting against one of the wagon's walls. Kairi perked up in interest.

"How'd you get here anyways?" Kairi demanded. Trunks joined in on the interrogation.

"Yeah, you freak!" Trunks yelled back.

"I needed a bongo for my journey across the rainbow," Obi-Wan explained.

"What a fruit," Kairi sighed. Obi-Wan turned and stood looking down at Kairi with a harsh frown.

"I am no fruit! I am a Jedi!" Obi-Wan exclaimed.

"No you're a pineapple!" Kairi argued loudly. Just then they hit a large bump on the road and Obi-Wan, who was standing, went flying out of the wagon.

"No me isn't!" Obi-Wan still argued as he hit the rocky dirt road at thirty miles per hour. The three still on the vehicle looked back as a noisy bunch of bulldozers rolled over Obi-Wan's battered body, reducing him to a road kill Jedi.

"Ew!" All three cringed.

"I thought he looked more like a banana," Sora said. Trunks turned his attention back ahead and saw a small exit to a few resturaunts.

"Bwarg! A resturaunt!" Trunks exclaimed as his Saiyan appatite kicked in. He pulled into a Denny's parking lot and they all disembarked. They entered the semi-nice place and was greeted by thier server. He was a stereotypical mustached waiter.

"Right this way," he lead them to a booth where they sat and read their menus.

* * *

(Ansem's torture room.)

"Who do you serve?" Ansem asked as he stood before his now brainwashed servants, Cloud and Sephiroth. Both held a horribly dark appearance and a sinister air about them(Sephiroth's got to be pretty scary now).

"You are my one and only master," both swordsmen bowed to show their devotion. Ansem smiled devilishly.

"Ahh, yes, that's what I want to hear," Ansem started," now you must get me that 'key'. Go forth! And only return when you have found it!"

"It shall be done!" both swordsmen assured as they teleported away.

(On the mysterious island.)

* * *

Riku sat gloomily on a volcano's edge. "Father's failed me," Riku sniffled," and I have no way of defeating Sora on my own. I must die!" Riku was just about to jump when Malificent appeared behind him and grabbed his arm.

"Do not despair, for I have brought you a gift!" Malificent told. Riku turned around and stuck out his tongue in disgust of her wacky hat.

"What could a freak like you possibly give me?" Riku asked.

"The ability to control the heartless!" Malificent cast her magic, changing his outfit into the outfit he wore at the end of the game.

"What power," Riku gawked at his new strength.

"That will be twenty-five cents, please," Malificent held out her hand expectantly.

"You'll not have my money!" Riku impaled the sorceress with his dark keyblade and tossed her into the volcano. "Muahahaha! That fool, Sora! I will suck upon his very atoms!" With that Riku flew into the air, in search of revenge on Sora.

(Back at Denny's.)

* * *

"Gravy!" Sora yelled happily.

"Buscuits!" Kairi cheered. Trunks threw up. All our heroes prepared to partake of their meal, when Cloud and Sephiroth stepped into the resturaunt and drew their swords.

"Do not panic! You will all die!" Sephiroth swung his sword and lobbed off several people's heads with his long blade.

"Come Sora! We must break your legs and feast on your soul!" Cloud declared. Sora and the others quickly rose from the table.

"Fat chance!" Sora replied angrily. Kairi stepped forward with fire in her eyes.

"I'll explode before I let that happen!" Kairi yelled. Sephiroth shot forward ready to strike.

"That can be arranged!" Sephiroth swung his sword, but was blocked by Trunks' own sword.

"Burning Attack!" Trunks fired a massive blast that destroyed the resturaunt and all its occupants. After the debris began clearing Trunks was shocked to see both Cloud and Sephiroth standing unscathed.

"You fool!" Cloud lunged forward and hit Trunks hard with his Buster Sword, sending him flying backwards into the air.

"Trunks!" Sora cried out as he watched his friend make a crater. Sora turned back to Cloud seething with rage. "You're not my friend anymore!" Sora slapped Cloud across his cheek. Cloud stood still as Sora's hand bounced off his face.

"Is that the best you can do?" Cloud asked disappointed. Sora held his hand and fell to his knees.

"No! Yes," Sora hung his head in shame. Kairi turned to Sora with tears in her eyes.

"Sora! Don't give up! I want to have you're baby!" Kairi exclaimed with all her heart. Sora raised his head.

"Really?" He asked dumbfounded. "Allright! It's go time!" Sora jumped high into the air and held out his hands. "ULTIMA!"

"How!" both Cloud and Sephiroth questioned in shock as they were consumed by Sora's attack. Sora landed with a look of victory.

"Yeah team!" Sora and Kairi cheered. Trunks walked up all torn up and bruised, as well as disoriented.

"What happened? Who am I?" Trunks asked. Just then a long sword jutted out through his chest.

"Your dead!" Sephiroth yelled into Trunks ear as he held his blade from behind.

"No, that's not right," Trunks shook his head. "I'm pretty sure my name started with a 'Z'." Sephiroth scowled at Trunks stupidity.

"Whatever! Just die!" Sephiroth replied harshly.

"Bwa-ar-guh..." Trunks fell limp as his spirit left his body.

"NO!" Sora cried out. "Spike beam!" Sora launched a horrendously huge beam of sharpness, reducing Sephiroth to a blended one-winged angel. Sora fell over onto his back and looked up to see a huge blade above his face.

"I'm still here!" Cloud exclaimed insanely as he brought down his sword. Sora rolled to the side but was hit on the leg.

"Gah! My leg!" Sora held his bleeding limb. Cloud edged closer, ready to finish Sora, but... Tifa appeared.

"What are you doing, Cloud!" Tifa demanded as she kept him from slaying the injured teen.

"I've been brainwashed into killing Sora and his friends," Cloud calmly explained, as if it were a normal thing.

"Ahh! Poor baby! Let Tifa take care of you!" Tifa grabbed Cloud and carried him off. Kairi just stared while the two walked off.

"That was freaking wierd," Kairi said. Sora stood up after wrapping his leg with his torn up Hawaiian shirt.

"We need to bury Trunks," Sora said sadly.

"I'll bury you first!" Ansem exclaimed as he teleported out of nowhere. Sora turned angrily.

"Go away! Gah! You try to take the best of me!" Sora exclaimed.

* * *

To Be Continued...

Yes, that last line is from a Linkin Park song. Please give me more awesome input and reviews!


	6. Fusion!

Sora's Grand Adventure Part 6

I don't own any of these characters.

Cool Beans! Thanks for reviewing ya'll! Sorry if some of you were displeased with character deaths. Just know I did not kill them off out of spite, it is simply the random violent story line. Thank you, and now onto the show!

I would have updated sooner, but I had a tough time logging in for a few days!

* * *

"Return to darkness, you swine!" Ansem ordered as he lifted Sora up by his pink Hawaiian shirt collar. Sora kicked and flailed his arms in protest. 

"No way! Die!" Sora kicked Ansem in the shin, causing the demonic man to drop the poor teenager and grab his injured leg. Ansem rose up and slapped Sora upside the head.

"Fool! Beware of my Poofy Bubble Gases! Or I'll..." Ansem warned.

"Or you'll what?" Sora demanded as he fell into a boxing stance.

"I'll throw pickles at you, of course!" Ansem laughed histericaly as he heaved a bunch of big pickle spears.

"No!" Sora blocked his face while the pickles shredded his clothes, leaving large scratches all over his body. Kairi quickly dived in and drop kicked Ansem in the teeth.

"Booyah! That was for Sora!" Kairi exclaimed as she landed on her feet, and Ansem on his rear. Ansem floated up into the air with a rather unpleasent scowl.

"Suffer the teletubbies!" Ansem revealed a TV screen on his stomache that was playing the cursed PBS show.

"AHHHH!" Sora jumped into Kairi arms as they both screamed bloody murder.

"Muahahaha!" Ansem chuckled. Just then a shadowy figure steps out.

"Stop right there!" the mysterious stranger ordered. Ansem turned and made a face of terror.

"W-who are you?" Ansem asked in a terrified manner. The figure walked into the light. It was Riku.

"I'm your worst nightmare!" Riku threw a frog right at Ansem's face. The frog bounced off a now histerical Ansem.

"Keep the warts away! WAAAHHH!" He shrivles up into a skeleton. Sora and Kairi glared at their enemy.

"Why are**you** here?" Sora demanded. Riku hopped down from his rocky perch and walked up to Kairi.

"I have come to reclaim my forever love," Riku spoke softly as he reached out his hand to stroke Kairi's cheek. Kairi bit Riku's hand as hard as she could, making Riku's bones crunch. "OWW!" Riku grabbed his bleeding hand.

"You can't reclaim me! I was never yours to begin with!" Riku shoved her onto her butt like a little kid.

"Shut up! You will love me! Even if I have to kill you!" Riku screamed. Kairi jumped back as Sora stepped up to defend.

"You're so lame! You have to scare people into liking you!" Sora yelled.

"Idiot! Dumbhead!" Riku started to vibrate with anger and foam at the mouth.

"You look so retarded! Why don't you just jump off a cliff or something!" Kairi yelled, repulsed by Riku's bizzare behavior.

"You perverts! Only perverts and communists eat snails and oysters!" Riku hopped up and down while screaming.

"You've really lost it man," Sora said out of pity. Riku jumped into the air and whipped out a humongous rocketlauncher out of nowhere.

"Undeserevd justice gun! Fires!" Riku pulled the trigger and fired ten human-sized rockets at Sora and Kairi. The two barely jumped out of the way as the missles fly out into the distance. They turned to see a mushroom cloud. Riku fell back to the ground and began having muscle spasms. "Fuh-fuh-fuh!"

"Its hopeless! He's just too freakin' wierd!" Sora wailed in despair.

"Don't give up!" Squall, Yuffie, and Cloud all floated in the air as they spoke to Sora. "Don't you want their to be a sequel?"

"I guess," Sora whined.

"Of course you do! Now, we offer you our strength!" Sora's comrades all transfered golden energy to Sora.

"I have the power!" Sora flexes and turns Super Saiyan, making him grow taller and his hair turns gold. Trunks now appears along side the other floating wierdos.

"Wind, Water, Earth, Heart!" the four chant as they put their rings together. The rings shot energy into the air and Captain Planet apeared.

"All right kids! Lets finish this!" Captain Planet said heroicly.

"Yeah!" Everyone but Riku, who was still having muscle spasms, yelled in excitement. Just the Riku snapped back into reality and smiled a toothy grin.

"You think your just so great," Riku taunted. "But I have knews for ya! I have three purple heartless!"

"Gasp!" All the good guys exclaimed. Sora and Captain Planet landed on a flat surface and grinned.

"All right, Captain! Time for us to show the power of fusion!" Sora said.

"Right on!" Captain Planet replied as he and Sora performed the fusion dance. "Fu-sion! HAAA!" A large sphere of light engulfed the new warrior.

"Oh?" Riku began having doubts in his mind. The light cleared and revealed the fusion.

"I am... Captain Sora Planet!" the fusion stated proudly. Riku chuckled a little.

"Well, that's just freakin' retarded!" Riku scoffed. Captain SP( an abvriviation.) glared.

"You are so... DEAD!" the fusion slapped Riku. Riku cringed as his life ebbed away.

"Oh-Kairi, I'll-see you in... the afterlife, my love...," Riku managed to say.

"Not where you're going, you little..." Captain SP started.

"GUAHH!" Riku dies and explodes.

"Huh? I guess its over!" Captain SP said as he was split back into Sora and Captain Planet. Kairi ran forward and jumped into Sora's mighty Super Saiyan arms.

"Oh, Sora! Now we can get married!" Kairi suggested.

"Yeah! You are so right!" Sora began lifting off into the air while still holding her. Both lovers look down and wave to their comrades.

"Bye, you two! We love you!" Yuffie, Squall, Cloud, Tifa, Trunks, and Obi-wan all float off into the sky on the moon boat.

* * *

To Be Continued... 

Next is Sora and Kairi's big wedding day! Please review!


	7. Wedding Day

Sora's Grand Adventure Part 7 I don't own any of these characters.

* * *

After the big fight against Ansem and Riku, the guardians of the universe all wished on the dragonballs that everyone killed would be brought back to life, as long as the bad guys would be good.

* * *

(At the wedding reception.)

All of Sora and Kairi's friends and family( and enemies) all milled about in anticapation of the bride's arrival. Riku and Tarzan fought over the bottle of champaigne, resulting in the cork busting Riku square in the chest. "I'm sorry, Riku!" Tarzan lied as to not attract any glares while Riku held his hand at his heart.

"I don't feel so good," Riku whined," and I think I'm bleeding inside my chest." Tarzan scooped up the ailing teen and tossed him into the church freezer when nobody was looking. At the podium Sora and Trunks stood with their best tuxedos on. Sora stood twitching and sweating while Trunks polished his sword.

"I'm going to die!" Sora yelled under his breath to Trunks.

"Whats wrong?" Trunks asked with concern at his friends unusual worrying. Sora pointed to a man with bright red hair and a sword at his side. trunks recognized the swordsmen. "Its Kenshin Himura, so what?" Trunks not knowing the signifigance of it.

"He's Kairi's dad!" Sora wigged out. Trunks stood straight up with fear. "Thank God I didn't mess around with Kairi, or this would be a reverse-blade wedding!" All of a sudden the priest appeared behind them.

"Are you boys ready to get started?" he asked humorously. Then Goofy started playing the organ to the wedding theme horribly. Everyone was seated and looking back at the now opened church doors. Kairi, in a marvelous dress, walked up the aisle with Kenshin holding her by the arm along with Tidus and Wakka serving as brides maids, throwing flowers as hard as they could in random derections. Kairi finally reached the podium and Kenshin stepped to the side. The samurai had a smile on his face, but Sora still felt uneasy. (I'm going to skip all but the last line, otay!) "Do you, Sora, take Kairi as your wife?" the priest questioned.

"Heck yes," Sora responded.

"And Kairi, do you take Sora as your husband?"

"Of course," Kairi chirped. She slid a ring onto Sora's finger, and Kenshin gave him a key.

"This is your wedding present," Kenshin said. Sora eyed the key with star filled eyes.

"Bring forth the ring," the priest ordered. Donald, being lazy, threw the ring at the priest, who barely caught it and glared at the lethargic( don't use the word everyday) duck with a sign of death in his eyes. Sora took the ring and put it on Kairi's dainty finger. "I declare you now husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Sora and Kairi passionately slobbered on eachother, drawing raised eyebrows. Sora picked up Kairi and carried her outside, with everyone following, and got in their car to drive to the reception.

* * *

(At the wedding party.)

All the wedding guests enjoyed music and dancing, as well as food and plenty of free booze, at the Mos Eisley cantina. Sora and Kairi strutted their stuff to the cantina band's rendition of the Pokemon cartoon theme song, along with Trunks and Aerith and many other couples. While they danced Sephiroth, Ansem, Donald, Goofy, and Clayton all got drunk on wine. They we're Ansem and Sephiroth were cracking jokes that were horribly unfunny and going on about their glory days. Donald was being abused by a the angry priest, while Goofy ate chairs and tables . Sora and Kairi walked up to the pitiful group.

"Have you guys seen Riku?" Sora asked.

"How the fudge should we know?" Clayton asked in his slurred speech.

* * *

(In the church freezer.)

Riku lay almost frozen still suffering from his wound. "Gah! It feels like somethings right beneath my skin!" Riku dispaired as something pulled beneath the surface. Just then, an ugly little alien jabbed it's head out and crawled out. "Oh my freaking gosh!" Riku screamed as the alien ran out of the freezer to escape the cold. Riku fell out of the small space and a girl just happened to walk in.

"Oh my! You look hurt!" the girl ran to Riku's aid.

"I have a friggin' hole in my stomache! Of course I look hurt! Now get me a freaking doctor!" Riku ordered. The girl picked him up and ran to get him assistance.

* * *

(Back at the party.)

"Oh well," Kairi shrugged her shoulders. Both newly weds went back to the dance floor as more and more people started getting drunk. After about an hour or so, the party had gotten pretty crazy, with people dirty dancing, getting in fist fights, and other odd things. Sora and Kairi, the only people not completely wasted, decided to go upstairs to their rented room and had their own little party.

* * *

The End.

Well folks that's the end of this exciting part of my series. And when I say 'part of my series' that is implying that a sequel will be made, continuing this epicly stupid story. So Review and tell me how excited and happy you are! And while you wait for my next fic's (Deadly Alliance.)arrival, I have several other silly Dragonball Zfics! Keep it grand!


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